The Edmonton Oilers are most likely not going to the playoffs

I wrote an article a few weeks ago pointing out the importance of American Thanksgiving. I also said what needed to happen to be in the playoffs at that time. For a quick recap, roughly 76% of the teams in the playoffs at American Thanksgiving end up making the playoffs. It’s a very accurate measuring stick.

Since the 2005-06 season, 76.7% of #NHL teams in a playoff spot on U.S. Thanksgiving go on to make the playoffs.

— Sportsnet Stats (@SNstats) November 22, 2023

Where the Oilers currently are

For the Edmonton Oilers to have been in the playoff picture, we would have had to win seven out of eight games. We didn’t even come close to that bar. Instead we continued to crater into obscurity.

Instead we maintained our stead sub .400 pace. Winning three games and losing five while allowing 31 goals against while scoring 26 goals for. Our PK was sub 80% as well. Basically, we needed a miracle to get back into the playoff picture. Instead we delivered a turkey.

Here are the standings as of Thanksgiving Day. Note: this does not include a brilliant game played by us against the Washington Capitals.

So what does it mean?

Few things you can takeaway from all this. One is that we’re not going to the playoffs. It would take a Jordan Binnington fueled miracle. It has happened before so I guess it can happen again. I think we all agree the team isn’t that bad. However, since I wrote the article, nothing has really changed. We fired a very good coach with an experience assistant and replaced them with a similar head coach and an Oiler Hall of Famer who last coached his son’s hockey team in Toronto. That gig did not go well for Coffey as he was suspended for racial slurs. How my favorite Oiler growing up, Paul Coffey, is in anyway qualified to coach in the NHL is beyond me. This is that “boys on the bus” mentality that has kept us being bad at hockey for decades now. There was not one other NHL club even considering Paul Coffey as an assistant coach.

GM Ken Holland also put a $3M dollar dent into our cap for next year by allowing Connor Brown to play his 10th game. He had 0 points in his first nine games and we had an easy out. Instead, we kept him.

Connor Brown, a forward, hasn’t recorded a single point in his last 19 NHL games.

His last point came 20 games ago, on April 18, 2022. An assist in a 4-2 loss to the Kraken.

He has 2 points (assists) in his last 31 games, and 3 in his last 34.

What are we even doing here lol

— adam bader (@a_bader20) November 25, 2023

For us to make the playoffs we can use last year’s playoff cutoff. 95 points was the final wild card spot. Today we have 13 points. That means we need to get 82 more points in the next 63 games. We need to go 41 and 22 (.650 points percentage) to put ourselves into wild card contention. I’d suggest 43 and 20 (.680) would guarantee it for us. Is it possible? Sure, anything is possible. Is it likely? No. Not even close. Hope dies last.

Is Holland really Arthur Carlson?

Arthur Carlson was the head of WKRP in Cincinnati.

He was famous for being an older boss who was not very bright or good at his job. On American Thanksgiving he had the iconic “as god as my witness, I thought turkey’s could fly” line. I can’t help but picture the turkeys as the players that Holland has signed to support our two elite superstars. The image of Holland tossing these turkeys out of a helicopter is a great analogy for this season.

The time to fire Holland was before Jay Woodcroft. He should not be allowed to make another decision. He shouldn’t even be allowed to be in the conversation. He should not be allowed in the building. Happy American Thanksgiving weekend everyone! Please enjoy the greatest American Thanksgiving clip of all time.

One of the greatest moments in TV history: “WKRP in Cincinnati” Thanksgiving turkey drop

“Oh, the humanity…!” 🚁🦃🫣pic.twitter.com/P5bajOqmvF

— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) November 23, 2023

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Photo by Curtis Comeau/Icon Sportswire