It’s October, which means that you are probably scrambling trying to figure out what your Halloween costume will be. Do you go with something extravagant? Something scary? Something simple and easy that you can just grab out of your closet? Or perhaps a costume that is a play on words that is so awesome and clever that you end up having to explain your genius to all the imbeciles that don’t get it—definitely not talking about when I wore a sailor hat with a ninja turtle t-shirt and couldn’t believe no one got that it was a “sea turtle”.
Well, have no fear, if you are an Edmonton Oilers fan, then here are some ideas that you can feel free to use this year, covering all the above categories.
FAAFO
Evander Kane broke out the now very common saying “[mess] around and find out” last playoffs while talking about the fight between him and Vegas Golden Knights’ Keegan Kolesar.
So if you are looking for a more subtle Oilers costume that can still be explained to a layperson, then this idea is for you.
What you need:
- An old shirt you don’t care about
- Magnifying glass
- Condoms
- A loooot of glue or tape
- Optional: hula hoop, Kane jersey, Sherlock Holmes hat
What you do: Glue the condoms all around your shirt; I would recommend still in the wrapper, so you don’t get weird looks. Well, get less weird looks. (Also, always be prepared right?) Then walk around holding the magnifying glass and every so often gasp as if you just…found out something.
If you don’t want to glue a bunch of condoms on you because you have, like, standards and dignity, you can instead glue them to the hula hoop to achieve the “[mess] around” portion.
McJesus
You’ve heard this nickname for Connor McDavid ever since he was drafted, and it is pretty easy costume to put together.
What you need:
- White robe
- Shaggy beard (preferably one you’ve grown yourself, but if you haven’t started yet, timing might be an issue)
- McDavid jersey
- Hockey stick
What you do: basically, dress like Jesus but make it Connor-like. Bonus points if you have very dull, hockey-esque conversations the whole night. Extra bonus points if you can turn Patrick Maroon into a 20-goal scorer.
Soup and Stew
Looking for a couples costume? Well why not honour the Oilers goaltending tandem that we only say good things about and not having any issues with whatsoever right now.
What you need:
- A partner (sorry if that’s too real for
meyou) - Campbell soup can costume (unless you can find a giant real can and/or you can somehow fit in a regular size one)
- A giant pot costume
- Goalie sticks
- Optional: goalie masks
Honestly, I had a bit of trouble trying to figure out how exactly to dress up like stew, and google search came up with this, uh, interesting and not at all terrifying costume.
But hopefully the combination with Soup plus the goalie sticks will help make it make more sense. I’d suggest not attempting to use said sticks as a ladle, but you do you.
Bouche Bomb
Using the word “Bomb” after a defenceman isn’t unique to Oilers fans (RIP Klefbom’s career), but with Evan Bouchard assuming the title, why not have some fun with a little word play?
What you need:
- A cartoony looking bomb (hopefully you don’t have access to a real one)
- A mouth
What you do: hold the bomb in your mouth. Get it? Because “bouche” is “mouth” in French. Pretty clever right?
If you want, you could also make a shirt with a face/mouth on it and tape the bomb to that so you don’t walk around all night biting on something and giving yourself lockjaw.
Note: If you are attending at the airport on Halloween, we recommend you DO NOT wear this costume.
Power Play
I don’t know if you guys know this, but the Oilers power play has been pretty good the last couple years. Some might call it historic even. So why not pay homage to what is the only reason the Oilers ever win any games ever (or so I am told by every non-Oilers fan)?
What you need:
- An extension cord
- A video game controller
What you do: you could just go super simple and hold each in your hands and call it a day, but that probably will get a bit tiresome. Perhaps try rigging a box to attach them to that you can wear and free up your hands for some libations that you will most certainly need after having to explain yet again that yes, this costume does make sense and is clever and definitely not stupid at all.
The Bill Daly Show
Every Oilers fan remembers the glorious day in 2015 when Bill Daly flipped over the #1 card showing the Oilers logo. They also remember the excitement of the same event happening in 2010 which birthed the infamous “H.O.P.E.” slogan. The 2011 card flip lead to a (hopefully) life-time Oiler. But you may (want to) forget that it happened in 2012 as well, making it four out of five years.
Fun fact: those three in a row to start the streak led to the NHL changing the draft lottery rules, which then ended up, ironically, being the reason the Oilers won the McDavid sweepstakes. So needless to say, if you are a fan of any other team, seeing a Bill Daly holding an Oilers card is definitely an unpleasant sight.
What you need:
- Bald cap
- Suit
- Glasses
- Cardboard square with Oilers logo
What you do: walk around and go up to people saying “and the first overall pick belongs to…” then flip the card and say in attempted hidden disappointment “The Edmonton Oilers.”
This costume is also great if you are looking for a group costume, as you can bring up to three friends to join you (please god, no more for at least…however many years until McDavid and Draisaitl retire.)
Former Oiler
We’ve had lots of costumes above regarding what an Oilers fan would wear, but what about a costume that would scare Oilers fans?
Well if you know anything about former Oilers, it’s that any time they face off against their old team, they will *always* score. If you are a betting man,check the opposing team’s roster and if you see a former Oiler, put money on them scoring. Trust me. Unless that’s one of the few times it doesn’t happens. In which case, why would you trust a random internet blogger for your betting tips?
What you need:
- Jersey of a former Oiler; preferably their new team after they left the Oilers
- One of those Budweiser goal horn lights
What you do: go around the party, re-introduce yourself to your friend, take their drink and chug it, then turn on the goal horn and yell “bet you wish you didn’t get rid of me now!” Note: you probably should not do this with your ex. For your sake. For everyone’s else’s entertainment though…
Bonus points if you wear a Tobias Rieder jersey and keep spitting out your drink saying “there’s something in this water!”
Current Oilers Fan
Right now, things definitely look scary for the Oilers and their fans. A 1–5–1 record will do that. Being a scary time = a scary costume.
What you need:
- An Oilers jersey
- Tissues
- Cut-outs of articles talking about the Oilers being Stanley Cup favourites
What you do: be very teary-eyed, start crying when looking at the articles, wail “what happened?! This was supposed to be our year!” every so often, then find a corner of the room and curl up in the fetal position.
Wait, what do you mean you can’t just go to a Halloween party as yourself?
Photo by Curtis Comeau/Icon Sportswire
